Posted at 12:04:53 PM on September 21, 2006 by Lynn Ster
So, Chris Brooker of The Guardian is very upset about Justin Timberlake's new song "Sexy Back." Not that he doesn't have a point about the lyrics. It's just really nice for him get upset about Justin Timberlake so we don't have to. He's angry for all of us, and it's fun to read! Now I don't have to trouble my pretty little mind about Justin Timberlake's dumb lyrics. Thank you Chris.
I usually let pop lyrics slide right by me, but I will say this though... remember that Clay Aiken song about being Invisible? Clay Aiken aside that song still creeps the Hell out of me out every time I hear it. He wants to be invisible just so he can watch a girl in her room? Ewww. (With Clay, "girl" is probably code for "guy," but the lyrics are still just plain icky & stalkerish.) No surprise to me that it made the list of 50 Worst Songs Ever. (Of course, "ever" means within the last 20 years -- I doubt they're including flops of the 1920s.)
Posted at 1:32:07 PM on September 20, 2006 by Lynn Ster
Pretty on a shelf, it also builds strong bones!
Yes it's true. Amazon.com is selling milk. And boy howdy is it getting some GREAT reviews! (Although only 764 so far, not quite enough to form an educated purchasing decision.)
Here's one...
There are few gifts I like to recieve more than milk. Whole milk too. That's the kind of milk that says that it's real. It's right. It's whole. I want that milk to sit there for years because that's what you do with milk. There's nothing better than milk - well except maybe radishes.
But alas, everything is not bright and shiny in the world of Tuscan whole milk. It has also caused a great deal of heartbreak. As evidenced by this reviewer's dark & sordid tale...
My name is Zach, a former employee of Tuscan Dairy Products.
To understand why I'm writing this we must go into further detail of why I am not currently employed by Tuscan Dairy Products at this juncture.
My position at Tuscan Dairy Products was called "Container Control Specialist". Basically, my job requirements were to hold an empty one gallon jug while it was being filled with Tuscan Whole Milk.
I know what you're thinking, "DREAM JOB". You couldn't be more right.
At first my job at Tuscan Whole Milk was exciting and fun. Nothing pleased me more than getting up in the morning knowing "I'm about to see the most magnificent and wonderful substance on earth". All I could think about was Tuscan Whole Milk, and that is where my life started its death spiral into the Abyss of dank, musky and pure Tuscan Whole Milk.
From the beginning my wife was jealous of me. She loved Tuscan Whole Milk, as we all do. But something pained her inside when I would mention Tuscan Whole Milk. She was bored with her job at SuperCuts. Upon arriving at home each day she would say exactly the following "What happened at work today, and give me DETAILS?" She was crazed for Tuscan Whole Milk, much like a crystal meth addict. She longed for the thick, cold and ever so beautiful taste of Tuscan Whole Milk.
But the jealousy had gone too far. After fulfilling my duties at work, my supervisor Jim decided to let me go home early. This is where it starts. I arrived at my homestead with my usual 2 jugs in hand(s), only to hear a moaning coming from our master bathroom. Furious, I barged into the room only to see my wife... Her insides filled to the brim with Tuscan Whole Milk.
I immediately filed for divorce and left my wife.
I got an apartment closer to work so I could spend more time with Tuscan Whole Milk. I was on a slippery slope. I would drink nothing but Tuscan Whole Milk until I vomited. I knew I had a problem, and the first step was admitting it. I was addicted to Tuscan Whole Milk. Being bloated, feeling sick, excessive diarrhea, lung disease, and milk lips are all symptoms of Tuscan Whole Milk abuse.
I had to quit my job at Tuscan Dairy Products to stay away from Tuscan Whole Milk. I am currently working at Ned's Video on Auburn and Sunrise as the Video Tape Rewinder. Its part time and the pay is bad, but at least it keeps me away from Tuscan Whole Milk.
Please kids, be safe and limit your consumption of Tuscan Whole Milk to a gallon a day.
Posted at 6:36:41 PM on September 19, 2006 by Lynn Ster
Combine Baby Looney Tunes with The Archies, then add Dick Cheney's "Penguin" impersonation and some Guantanamo-style torture silliness (in the name of a good patriotic lunch!)... and you have this episode of Little George Bush on Hot Dog Day! Wheeee! (Note: it's stupid & could offend. But look at the name of this website. Deal with it!)
Posted at 1:44:10 PM on September 13, 2006 by Lynn Ster
Passengers complain after Tyler sings
PARIS, Sept. 3 (UPI) -- Passengers on a flight from France to Mauritius have filed suit against Air France after musician Bonnie Tyler performed a song at the request of the co-pilot.
The passengers, believed to be Belgian, complained to the airline after the Welsh singer performed part of her 1983 hit "Total Eclipse of the Heart" at the request of the co-pilot, who retired after the flight, The Mail on Sunday reported.
"I was asleep in First Class. The stewardess came and said the co-pilot was retiring. And they asked me would I sing to him. They were having a bit of a party," Tyler said.
The complaining passengers reportedly claimed they were traumatized by the experience and had feared for their safety during the celebration. The complaint eventually escalated into a legal dispute.
An Air France official said: "The claim against Air France, which it completely rejects, is that the celebrations got more and more unruly and came to a climax when Bonnie sang.
"Air France is saying that any suggestion there was anything more than a few slaps on the back for the co-pilot is nonsense, and it completely rejects the claims that the passengers were at any sort of risk."
